FAST FAQs

Q: What's wrong with a teen having sex?

Q: I know lots of singles that have sex or even live together. They're happy, and haven't had anything go wrong.

Q: I had sex when I was young. How can I tell my teen not to?

Q: If I've already had sex, it's too late for me. What difference would it make if I stop now?

Q: What if my friends make fun of me for being a virgin?

Q: What can I say if my boyfriend says, "If we're in love it's okay"?

Q. What’s wrong with a teen having sex?

A: Lots of things. The three most important:

(i) God has said no one should have sex outside marriage. What did God actually say? “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” A young man is to start his own family by entering into marriage, and only then should he and his wife have sexual intercourse. Read the stories of Shechem and Dinah (Genesis 34) and Amnon and Tamar (2 Samuel 13), young people who had sex without being married. The Bible speaks of their actions as “wrong,” “something which should not be done.”

(ii) Sex is intended to bond two people together for life. Sexual desire is a very powerful instinct, and within marriage it cements the relationship of the husband and wife. Sex, used in the right way, is a wonderful gift of God. It also bonds people together when they have sex outside of marriage (see 1 Corinthians 6:16), and each time this bonding takes place in a relationship which is not permanent the bonding effect can be weakened for a future relationship. Almost always, the more partners one has, the less sex satisfies.

(iii)There can be serious negative consequences, both now and throughout your life.These consequences can be emotional (feelings of having been betrayed, flashbacks later on in marriage, regret); physical (sexually transmitted diseases, unintended pregnancy); economic (poverty for the single mother and for her child); spiritual (separation from God). Look again at the accounts of Shechem and Dinah and of Amnon and Tamar and see how much suffering resulted from their actions. God wants to save us from these unintended consequences. But we should always remember that God can forgive and restore, no matter what we have done. He can make us new creatures, as if we had never sinned. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11)

 

Q: I know lots of singles that have sex or even live together. They're happy, and haven't had anything go wrong.

A: Things aren't always what they seem to be. Here are a few for starters:

(i) A majority of girls, and many boys, who have had sex had a bad experience and wish they had waited
(ii) The break-up rate and the rate of abuse are much greater for couples living together than for married couples.
(iii) Sex is more satisfying in marriage.
(iv) Many sexually transmitted diseases have no symptoms for a long time, so people may be infected and not know it yet.

Q: I had sex when I was young. How can I tell my teen not to?

A: Be honest about why you did and why you now feel it was a bad idea.

Q:  If I've already had sex, it's too late for me. What difference would it make if I stop now?

A: With God, it's NOW that counts. He forgives and forgets, and in his eyes you are a virgin again.  "The sexually immoral will not inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." (1 Corinthians 6:9,11)

Q: What if my friends make fun of me for being a virgin?

A: Here are some things to think about:

Q: What can I say if my boyfriend says, "If we're in love it's okay"?

A: "It isn't okay to ignore God's instructions, and it isn't good for either of us; God put boundaries around sex for our own good."
(1 Corinthians 6:12)